Strangest gay things straight guys told NOT to do (r/AskReddit | Reddit Stories)

Strangest gay things straight guys told NOT to do (r/AskReddit | Reddit Stories)

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stories. Okay storytime… Straight men of Reddit: what’s the strangest
thing you’ve been told not to do because “that’s gay”? Not me, but a friend of mine got dumped because
his girlfriend thought he was a closet gay. He like having his apartment clean so he cleans
it every evening and somehow, doing house chores is gay.His new GF is thrilled tho….. Linen shopping. By my best friend.That’s nice bro, but I need
towels. Deal with it. I was reading a book and a couple dudes called
me gay. Not for reading a book, but because I was
using a bookmark. My sister told me this gem. Her male friend said he hated being a guy
because he COULDN’T USE AN UMBRELLA. Apparently it’s gay to keep yourself dry. I knew a guy who wouldn’t have a serious conversation
that might cause any kind of emotion because “that’s gay”. It couldn’t even be something nice like talking
about puppies. He also wouldn’t hug his children or his niece
because that kind of affection is what women and gay guys use. He also wouldn’t smile in pictures unless
his “woman” or children were in them. He wouldn’t tell his son that he loved him
or spend quality time with him because he was scared that it would turn his son gay. So, basically, anything that caused happiness
or a decent quality of life was gay. His dad apparently would beat him for that
“pansy sheet” when he was a kid so, I can understand why he does what he does but, it’s
still majorly ducked up. When I was right out of college, I was heading
out for drinks with my roommate. He’s from upstateNew York. We were going to a kinda nice bar, so I threw
on my wool jacket. It was cold out, so I grabbed a scarf. He was surprised I’d wear a scarf. He’s a super PC guy, so he never explicitly
called it gay. And if I had been gay, he would have been
fine with me wearing a scarf.The funny thing is, he was wearing a ski-jacket out, and got
sheet from our other roommate for not dressing up more. Then, we started giving the third roommate
sheet for always wearing the same shirt every time he dresses up. So, in the end, 3 twenty something guys left
late to go out because of an argument about our outfits. I saw a Twitter screenshot a little while
ago from a woman who thought glasses “looked kinda gay”Caption on the screenshot was : “Fellas,
is it gay to see?” My brother in law and I went to a movie. He told me it was gay to sit next to him. I told him to stop being a itch and I sat
right next to him. For the entire movie. Use a straw.Because apparently it’s like
having a tiny pen 15 in your mouth.I still use straws and haven’t had the urge to suck
a big nick yet. I had a buddy that wouldn’t eat foods that
resembled the shape of a pen 15. Hotdogs, bananas, cucumbers, none of it even
if it wasn’t in it’s original shape. He was kind of a goofy dude so there’s a
solid chance it was a joke and he just didn’t like those foods and they happened to have
that in common, but I never knew for sure. Make sure you only get your left ear pierced. This might be a non thing now but when I got
my first piercing in the 80’s it was a big deal to make sure you got the correct side
of your head pierced. Right meant gay, left meant straight. And you didn’t want to be the kid that ducked
that up. This whole thing was made all the more comical
by the fact I got my ear pierced with my best friend so we could split the cost. I mean there had to be nothing gayer then
two pre teen boys arguing about what earring to buy and threatening to just not get it
done. And this wasn’t an uncommon thing either,
the girl at the jewellery store said it happened a few times every weekend.I feel like I’ve
given rise to some cult with of the left is right, right is wrong replies. Maybe there needs to be some new reddit team
badges. My sister had psychology lessons at her University. She told me that her teacher explained that
every man that went to see a prosnitute were secretly gay because they were seeking out
the previous man pen 15 inside the prosnitute’s vanilla.She’s adamant that the teacher really
said that but of course it’s a second hand story. I was once at a gay bar, and a dude hit on
me, and according to my then girlfriend, since I wasn’t disgusted by it “What, are you gay?!?” Enjoy female singers/fronted bands. I came from a very stupid place with a very
stupid culture. Once was told that baking and cooking were
“gay” or “too feminine”.duck that sheet! My dad was a professional chef, and I’d be
damned proud to follow in his footsteps in the culinary world. Also, who doesn’t love the guy who can whip
up birthday cakes, brownies and snacks? I went on a date with a guy who wouldn’t drink
cucktails because they were gay. So he’d only drink beer to be more masculine. There was a thread on here a while back where
some poor girl told the world about an ex who wouldn’t wipe himself or wash his genitals
cause “touching a big nick is gay” Going to a cafe and eating /drinking anything
there. I’ll have as many strawberry sundaes as I
want god dammit. Cross my legs Eating pizzy. Seriously. Homie told me it was submissive to eat pizzy
and “kinda gay”. He was Jamaican and I hear that’s a widespread
belief down there.Also I heard a rapper once say eating bananas without cutting them up
was “sus”… I grew up in California before moving to the
east coast as a teenager.I’ve been told all Californian’s are gay or at least bi, more
than once.edit – so it’s been implied that I should not do “being Californian” My buddy going for his doctorate in math was
working on differential equations between sets at the gym when another gym rat walked
up:Gym rat: “are you counting your reps or something?”Buddy: “no, this is my math homework.”Gym
rat: “what, are you gay?” Recognize that another man is handsome. Like bruh I have eyes and know how female
attraction works Edit: Wow this one’s beat my one from earlier
about the girth of a sheet I wore my watch on my right hand. Apparently when i was in high school that
gay as duck. I sew renaissance type costumes as a hobby. I’ve been told I should stop doing it because
sewing is either gay or women’s work.On the plus side I am a 6’2 bear of a man so when
I tell them to duck off, they usually leave it be. Here is a list of absurd things I have been
told not to do because they are ‘gay’ or ‘effeminate’.Take a bath. (Apparently, men only take showers)
Drink through a straw. (Men just sip the side of the glass)
Use lotion. (Men’s skin is meant to be rough and course..?) Use weightlifting aids For example, . belt,
bands, wraps/straps, gloves (Danger and callouses are manly, I guess?) Use weightlifting machines. (as opposed to freeweights)
Eat vegetarian / vegan / plant based. (because you ‘need’ meat for testosterone
and protein) Drive an automatic roadster. (Men drive trucks, and if they have to drive
a sports car, it should be a manual) Dye my hair. (this only applies to younger men / men going
for an unnatural color, apparently) Have anal six with a woman. (cause, butt stuff is gay?) Be friends with gay men. (go duck yourself). I remember as a kid my dad would tell me not
to sit with my legs crossed in a chair. I replied ‘don’t care.’Still don’t…….. A guy in the bus offered his seat to a woman
that was standing. She looked at him and said “Are you gay or
something?” like it’s gay to be polite. She still got the seat, but if I was him I
wouldn’t give her my seat after that Tried to order a mojito at a bar back when
they were all the rage since I had only heard of them and never tried one.Waiter looked
at me and said “No. You’re not gay so i won’t get that for you.”But…i
just wanted to try a popular cucktail…. Drink milk. Especially chocolate milk. I’ve been singled out on 3 occasions, and
was once called gay for it. By store clerks, no less.I love milk and I’m
lactase proficient, so i told them I’d use my lactase proficiency however i like. How the hell is calcium gay, anyway? Floss my teeth.Apparently, gingivitis is something
only hetero people have. Brunch. If steak, eggs and alcohol at noon are gay,
well then duck it. Being sixist sounds exhausting. How the hell do you keep up with all of these
stereotypes? I swear some of these people must just spend
hours every week googling “gay stuff” and memorizing all of the search results. In high school I used to build and paint sets
for the school plays. I also happen to be gay. Actual factual gay.I wouldn’t say it was any
one specific thing that triggered this, but one day while tinkering with a rolling set
piece for that year’s musical I was informed by this drama-kid chick (who had a reputation
as a busy-body) that one of the lead guys (who was straight, one of the “popular kids,”
a jock, and also from a decently established theater family) had gone on a rant about me
being “too gay.”Now hold on, Mary. I’m covered in house paint, performing adjustments
underneath a rolling flat, with like 35 pounds of tools strapped to my waist. You’re tap dancing in sequins among the footlights
with rouge on your cheeks, and yet somehow, SOMEHOW, I’m “too gay?”High school, man. Girlfriend insisted I stop working out and
get a Dad bod. I once told my girlfriend I loved her and
she turned around and went ‘gay.’.. once by best friend tried to hug me and I said no,
and he called me gay. Hug my dad Watch corn with a man and a woman. A guy I went to school with said he only watches
lez corn cause watching one with a guy is gay. It was just about the stupidest thing I’ve
ever heard anybody say. Eat hot chip and lie Driving a Subaru. Which is widely regarded as a “lez-mobile”
(their words not mine).I will likely make my next car a Subaru because you could drop
one of them from Space and they would start up and drive out of their own crater. Plus the WRX STI is my mid-life crisis car
if it ever comes to that. Not wear shorts under pants. The world’s a weird place.Edit: To clarify,
since a lot have been asking, I mean athletic shorts as well as underwear under your pants. give my bro a brojob when he was feeling down Ok fellas, is it gay to MASTURBATE? Because you are literally touching a pen 15
to have fun🤔🤔 Drink a Pina Colada with fruit on it, cross
my legs, hang out with girls, wear pants that actually fit properly, wear colors, not wanting
to get my hands dirty. Taking too much care of my hair and thinking
that short haired girls are pretty. I still buy expensive shampoo, hair creams,
keep my hair hydrated and always use the hairdryer while combing it, I don’t care if it’s gay
as long as it is fabulous.As for the short haired girls it makes all the sense to me
that if I like girls that behave like a friendly bro I might as well be into girls that, in
the words of a friend of mine, also “look like a bro” This whole thread is so sad. This morning my husband and 3 year old son
wore towels around their shoulders so they could fly around being pretty butterflies. I’m so happy to have a reasonable partner
who knows that games like this are normal for kids and absolutely nothing to do with
future sixuality Pee sitting Having friends that are girls that you don’t
sixually harass. Moan Get a pedicure. Holy duck that sheet feels so good! Play Clarinet. I was 12, really good at the instrument, and
loved it, but stopped because of the relentless teasing I got from it. Fat boy with a girl’s instrument. Elementary school rocked. Crushed some strawberries into a glass of
lemonade (English style, fizzy and clear).A gay colleague said ‘that’s the gayest
thing ive ever seen’ It still bugs me to this day that he thinks
enjoying flavors I like in a drink that’s really basic and plain is ‘gay’.Also,
don’t look at your nails from the back of you hand, you have to curl you hand into a
ball and look at your nails like that.Edit; curling your hand to look at your nails is
so ridiculous like ‘hey I’m not gay I swear’ because looking at your nails from
the back of the hand gives you a better view of them and your hand at the same time. Go dancing. On a date with a woman. Apparently dancing with your girlfriend is
gay. Wasn’t told not to do it, but my girlfriend
was confused by how much I enjoyed cunnilingus – I wanted to do it every time we had six
– and asked if it was because I was gay.I told her I was pretty sure this behavior was
not an indicator of male homosixuality. She couldn’t explain why she thought it was. My husband was called gay by his dad for wearing
red shoes one day, and another for wearing red shorts.I guess the color red is gay?He
said this in front of me, his wife. And his biological grandchildren, our kids,
from heterosixual six.We don’t talk to him anymore. Not to wear a pink/purple shirt, like bruh
you’re gay if you have a problem with that I’ve heard that if you Google it, you’ll find
a lot of evidence that some men don’t wash their buttholes because they’ve heard it’s
gay. Makes me want off this planet. Gay guy here. When I was in middle school, I heard a guy
explaining pianos to his friends. He was talking about how black keys work differently
then white keys. The friend replied “that’s gay”. To the format of a piano. I’ll never understand why. I was laughing at a bar with several pretty
obviously (straight) men and women friends of mine and went over to talk to a girl who
had been making eye-contact with me from across the room for a bit. Conversation ends like this:Girl – “Oh, I
thought you were gay”Me – “What?!? Haha, noooo. Why did you think that?”Girl – “Because you
were smiling so big and laughing a lot”Apparently to some women, having fun is super gay. Greeting people entering a party.

6 thoughts on “Strangest gay things straight guys told NOT to do (r/AskReddit | Reddit Stories)

  1. 4:56 beer raises estrogen lol.

    Also if a gay guy says, "That's the gayest thing I've ever seen." to something that you do that could even barely be considered remotely feminine, it's actually that guy testing the waters with you trying to see if you will deny the gay in the hopes that you won't completely deny it and might be a prospective mate.

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