I Should NOT Have Entered This Facility!

I Should NOT Have Entered This Facility!


target is in the engagement area under
the plane hi my must you be in the shadows okay no other candidates on such
a mission Oh God president mister person right his specific character he quickly
and accurately carries out orders what about the flaw for a soldier our recent
divorce is not a serious drama no divorce is serious for anybody what are
you waiting for exactly complex construction all construction is complex
get it crashed UFO so this is some kind of military operation drop zone and top
secret is this my desk this has to be my desk because the doors are facing me my
desk dammit Oh pen I couldn’t see the pen lefty come on gyrate no didn’t even
let me stop moaning whoa I’m supposed to be in the seat belt got it I don’t think
my whole being is supposed to be in the seat belt Oh some shits about to go down
everything’s beeping my planes being drop ships on fire clearly it’s safely
comfortable I’m on fire oh that’s not funny my eject hatch yeah fire can you
put up more the fire please stop sparking everything inside the castle
exceeds the critical limit ventilation will be performed thank you ventilation
is not possible what due to defective main power supply please run yeah except
the word game thing dynamo machine what is this whoa probably shouldn’t be
touching shit that I don’t know about is please let this be a backup generator
yes okay we have power in the cabin ends are card open castle are we getting out
fresh air the doors stuck has been brilliant active emergency opening I
can’t reach whoa hello ocean buckle I’m still stuck
there we go just one finger just blink thank God I didn’t have to mess with any
of that stuff this is like I expect you to die all over again are you following
me the device on you’re annoying my friends synchronized with the complex
proceed to the terminal to turn on the outdoor lighting and now proceed to the
terminal and turn on the outdoor lighting of the company I just read that
on my wrist Thank You robot wait for me why are you so much faster than me nice
you could at least say dude and put on some clothes they let me out nakey do I
not have any clothes 90% I got on the cheap man for dabbing y’all hey I’m
assuming what I don’t have a key card where are these things glowing I’m
really afraid to be touching Justin you realize that right robot you could be
helping me a lot more than watching you struggle it’s a battery I feel like you
go in here it is getting cold out here do you not see this no okay I have
battery number one one of these batteries who are it’s gonna freeze and
explode or something so let’s try this battery that doesn’t work I think I’m
gonna have to go back and get the key card in the ship just well I’m on stay
there I’ll be back robot you could have told me this when I
left that leftover cargo must be from my door hey there’s another piece over here
there’s a hand oh wait let’s go try this key card instead of walk in our happy
asses back in I said end in no hands useless we have to run all the way back
to the exploding chip why did we have to drop in the middle of the Arctic why
couldn’t you guys built the complex and somewhere like Hawaii or Tahiti or
something nice take that do I have a storage pocket can
i stuff it up my butt or in my ball sack or something hey hey we found a storage
pocket now not enough energy I have a battery for that where do we put the
battery here and now you could just see how retarded I am where does the battery
you go battery okay this battery died so that one’s dead
are they rechargeable I knew that battery with died a guy look down on the
cold let’s try this one okay I need to insert the third battery
so it takes three chances three-strikes-you’re-out alright this
one better forget work three here yeah well at least there’s a dynamo machine
in the capsule oh god damn it we’re gonna be running back and forth the
entire time robot you really should have equipped me with some clothes just
saying it’s a bit nipply out here some kind of machine charges the battery
isn’t here battery there we go please don’t blow up the battery it says this
this one’s toast maybe this is enough this better be enough all I have to do
is turn on the lights that thing is huge don’t let it die before I get it here
good boy you’re a good boy you’re a bad boy
you’re bad battery press the button you better not even
more battery power than that oh this feels epic can I not move I want to see
more of the picture whoa it is strictly forbidden to paling the
protocol and example of a categorical prohibition if the current circumstance
what it is to throw a snowball into a drone I’m not throwing a snowball do I
have to go forward I’m not breaking protocol to throw a snowball I can’t
stop thinking about our last family family whoa god you’re the middle of the
Arctic in front of an alien spaceship building naked and you’re complaining
about a woman you know and you know and I say if you’re a hard worker and your
woman can’t support you then sir are we going up are we going on the bridge I
want to figure out what’s up here oh wait wait wait we got to be careful we
can’t do anything outside the guidelines cuz that’s breaking protocol hello I’m
nude I would really like something warm so my balls can unthaw please soup a hot
bath fuzzy blankie I’ve made it this place is huge
okay so if it’s so fancy why are they using stadium lights what I don’t have
my key card I really have to go back hmm I’m gonna have to stick that key card
every time I’m sticking that my belly that goes in my belly pocket robot why
can’t you think of these things I don’t even know your name you’re just robots
why can’t you think of these things belly pocket thank you I swear it looks
like I’m wearing pants but I can’t see my own body I can only see my shadow
hey robot thank you for following me and giving me help in the dark you’re really
a great robot it’s terrible robot friend oh okay guys
why is nothing working here because it’s cold and it’s in the frozen water
weather insert key card that’s the guy’s arm now I gotta go find his frigging on
the arm key card look at that Wilson’s got a friend I’m assuming I’m gonna have
to have glue and glue these together maybe the robot has some kind of laser
thermal thing that can glue them together it’s a possibility right hey
robot I got a job for you you can make yourself useful other than just standing
there and wandering glue these together for me not the dead guy’s hand the
picture how does this work do I need another keycard wait there’s
an electrical short that might actually be why she’s not working okay probably
good thing I need to find where this wire leads do and knock it out so
somewhere over here take out the battery press the button I need some
finding more batteries why don’t have to solve all these people’s problems for
them why am I stuck hearing this guy’s key card around
hey mr. robot can you identify things why does this look like an alien
artifact and why is it eating my hand hello hello hi yeah what is it
don’t ignore me I’m asking you what this thing is I found it on the ground back
there oh it’s not gonna answer me what the hey wait nothing fits idiot we
ordered heating alcohol who in their right mind would drink beer in the
freezing cold beer is good at any time I can’t put you in my tummy what is that
there you go cut off the power your purple friend what should I call you
you’re awful pretty can I take the fork now don’t electrocute me and powers
there we go now turn it back on hope not to get electrocuted
her in it and we have power now will you please accept my card I’ve never worked
so hard to get into a facility in all my life please enter thank you card coast
3040 did I remember where I scarred Oh personal things including clothes I am
already nude ma’am I have nothing discard all personal things including
clothes I you said discard personal things I put my control right there
I know I’m sorry okay oh I didn’t even need yours in there wait special
container can I have your back I’ve been compromised you have violated the
protocol have a nice day my clothes I was trying to we’re trying to retrieve
it discard Oh personal thing I’m trying clothes I don’t have anything on me
thank you please your clothes in this special
container it’s in the container go on get down Oh can’t I so I didn’t have
clothes the entire time personal things including clothes are you kidding me no
underwear to discard no personal things underwear too buddy
get him off I need to meet the guy boxers real Oh your military that
explains it all personal things gone I don’t have pockets you want to check my
butthole turning cough I’ll take that back I’m trading activity that’s
training oh is that me wait I didn’t get to see what me looks like so I was too
busy trying to figure out why I was watching in an angle hello this is all I
have to my name oh no I thought I was about to be lasered raised in an evil
style nevermind you can sweep me all you want it’s hot cold out there those
lasers are warm oh goodness thank you what up bitch
what is going on do I not have power here – wait wait there’s a letter this
terminal doesn’t work I spent too uptight weeks installing it because
everyone kept forgetting their key cards outside I have a key card don’t worry
I’m not one of those people now the terminal outside reminds you that you
must pick up the key card I didn’t give any reminder why can’t they do it from
the beginning screw you all I won’t fix anything well he sounds like a salty guy
tech support huh whoa I didn’t go far enough
okay here I am please don’t say that you didn’t have enough money to make the
lighting inside nope we gotta turn it on uh-oh oh wow wow we stand in the red
area to complete the decontamination I’m naked be nice long time I’m blind now
thank you is this all this necessary I just
dropped out of a military dropship my screen is wet subjects initial treatment
is over perform preventive vaccinations no I don’t want to be stuck
don’t you know vaccines cause autism you treat do not touch me do not touch me
the ampule with red liquid and administer 200 units into the chest area
red liquid 200 units into the chest area what color red ampule 200 units blink
this is blue okay hang on a minute I think all these are different red liquid
red liquid 200 into the chest area I feel like that
machine has something to do with it open okay you’re green
I have red I have 200 in the hole oh it seems I shouldn’t use this thing while
exactly I didn’t mean to use it well it’s empty
I want to put it back put it back thank you drain it use it oh just how many of
these are we gonna have to do do you blow on it
how’s this work oh oh whoa everything’s I wouldn’t lean ejected into myself
exactly what my best man didn’t take the blue pill orally in five percent of
cases vision is not fully restored um what else is now I’m just gonna be
blinder blue pill please this is blue right are you serious and now it’s gray
your body is ready for a higher dose for the next test
Oh green medicine I can’t tell what it is you can’t make it yourself that’s I
think that’s green I’m pretty sure that was Green so 500 so 2 and 3 is 5
take that gosh take that God if this is wrong I’m so there we go
whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa please take two steps back we will now test
your small motor skills my small motor skills lady the diamond-shaped pill the green ones
were diamond right or the yellow five squats one two three four will you be
quiet over there if it’s what acceptable no that house is disgusting I didn’t
hear what she said because I’m too yeah matter nothing won’t shut up uh-uh tis a
bug sweater eating a fly that’s okay that’s you know natural it’s the
environment nailing wood why is that not okay is he hammering the nail or is he
hammering the guy in the head he looks pretty determined to hit that
nail power to you bro yep that’s fine that is not fine that’s some creepy
justice that’s not disgusting it’s just creepy what is that is it a cat licking
at home but it’s not cute but it’s a teen cat so you have to say yes to it
it’s a cat although I’m not particularly interested in is that supposed to be me
and my ex-wife she’s got nice boobs he’s got cool glasses and she’s a
redhead is this okay this is not okay I can’t hide from her even at the end of
the world she follows you everywhere she’s your act she’s gonna know retrieve the key and take my necessary
equipment there’s my key okay locker Newberry that’s the key
turn the key the key broke can I have it back
well time to go reading some lockers I guess that’s a one too bad
I really need to be or hey I’ll do it right here so go pee then make it into
the toilet at least you rainbow bitch that is the coolest pee I’ve ever seen
why are you blocking my wiener you’re literally cock-blocking me have
committed an act of sexism and violated the rules of gender mutual respect
established in the research complex you have violated all I did was go to the
bathroom am I supposed to just let it out and go wherever yours thick no
here’s the key it says you got to lift the toilet lift the toilet seat there we
go although I don’t understand why you must
have to lift the toilet unless you don’t want to clean it we commend you for
compliance I left at the CBC that I know how to be like a guy you have managed
not to splash on the toilet seat is that what the whole point of this was girls
splash – and I flushed the toilet and I wait wait wait before I leave you’ve got
to do what every guy should do put the toilet seat back are you gonna fire me
because I flushed the toilet too many times
Locker number three that’s a three that is flashing three how do you get this
thing open that is a three is there like a crowbar or something I need my bone
marks buddies back what’s this this is some type of cash hey hey what what do
we got we got a tape measure why you gonna give this to me nuts driving wheel
are we supposed to be building something this is weird
another stop it another tape measure not screws I don’t have the brain for this
is there an instruction manual somewhere this is some kind of okay maybe it’s not
a driving wheel it looks like a valve but a valve for what does it go on the
front of the locker to go here know that for this there was a set of pliers
somewhere wasn’t there there it is okay let’s try to get the key out this
way oh it worked it’s turned but I don’t have tools I don’t have any equipment
admissible appearance is regarded as admissible appearance I can’t get my
locker Open Oh what about over here there you go
I violated the protocol so you have to push the buttons first okay you got to
figure out which ones three key run this now it sounded so annoying
Oh Ben there it is I saw it I have sir who wedged this in here I want to know
his name clothing one pants without boxers and an irritant there we go get
inside the elevator where’s my key I need that key thank you
insert key of course open haha oh no I said I want these turn okay I can’t take
it anymore yep I need to be oh yeah don’t damn it I
have to pay attention to my own bladder 200 Ben that’s three okay let me go pee
wait I got a pee take out my weenie PL the rainbow I want this urine why my
squatting all I did was this how did your bladder get so full I mean I know
it’s drugs but I don’t think you’re peeing out your entire body and flush
and seat down got to play like a proper man except men don’t remember to put the
fucking toilet seat down because of that Oh see you learned your
lesson from your ex-wife pants earpiece key why is this still making a noise
turn the key broken go go go get out of the creepy noise pliers
lead the way metallic friend link all right Open Sesame
it works sometimes insert the keycard into the elevator terminal I have a key
card now initialization I don’t have nine percent complete why’d you complete
the initialization what kind of psychosomatic tense select
the images in the order in which you passed the previous psychosomatic test
Oh God the house was first then the spider then
the hammer then they counted a nice day I had them all right I got the chainsaw
on the cat mixed up well thank Jesus so it’s cat and then chainsaw house
spider now it’s not the cat it’s the chainsaw and then the cat remember this
I’m gonna do it wrong like 500 times keycard in I better get that back that’s
apparently very important sink is so noisy thank you for thank you although
I’m pretty sure that’s wrong I’m fresh I just pissed rainbows I don’t
think that makes me very fresh especially what since I wasn’t granted
access to the showers I get a holographic assistant Diaries moving up
to normal okay can I meet this feller I’ll take that whoa do I get me a lady
hello you picked my ex-wife having analyzed your answers and data during
the psychosomatic test seriously yield lady I’m up to your bone you’re
motivating virtual chaperone for you would be an image of your ex-wife why
are you so mastitis –tx maybe they’ll show themselves as successful and
effective in the privacy magic Wolf’s wives I signed up for this far away from
her as possible and now my ex-wife anime it was you who consented to the
processing of your personal data yeah it’s called Facebook you must
follow the protocol which means do exactly as I say I’m forced to listen to
this lady no matter wha main room you are allowed to know that the research
complex is in quarantine that is why any mistake will lead to the immediate
sterilization of the complex and the adjacent territory so that means if I’m
going down you’re going down with me right that’s one way to get rid of my
ex-wife

16 thoughts on “I Should NOT Have Entered This Facility!

  1. Gurl it says you posted this 13 seconds ago💀 so i just wanne say one thing… your amazing and rlly funny keep it up😍

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