Grounded Podcast #3 w/ Dave Berke and Echo Charles: Do you Like Your Job? BJJ First Impressions

Grounded Podcast #3 w/ Dave Berke and Echo Charles: Do you Like Your Job? BJJ First Impressions


this is the grounded podcast episode 3
with echo Charles Dave Burke and me Jocko willing what’s happening oh these
your first time on the grounded podcast yeah I don’t know if I’m supposed to say
good evening or nothing like this because you didn’t say good evening to
me no see I’m saying I I’m just a how does it work that’s what I said I wish a
little bit more of a relaxed environment yeah so you know we’re not starting golf
formal yes good evening which is a formal let’s face it I don’t even say
good evening to you well I guess I said jokingly but I wouldn’t normally say
that to you in real life yeah it makes sense so now we’re not saying it here
okay do you or Dave so I said I said what’s up right that’s actually what I
said right and if you could feel it if you you probably felt like a Luther me
for a loop little bit yeah you got the headphones on we’re in the space yeah it
sounded weird so grounded well you haven’t heard any yet Dave because they
haven’t been released yet that’s right yeah so the deal is like you know how
when we started this when we started recording the other podcast today but
before we started recording we talked and I and I said hey guys we just talked
for 48 minutes before kicking off the podcast and then I said I really wish we
would have recorded all that because what we were talking about was was was
good stuff it was stuff that I am learning when you guys are talking to me
you’re learning when I’m talking to you it’s like one of those situations yeah
and we you and I echo I’ve been doing that for a long time whether we’re
talking about training whether we’re talking about just life whether we’re
talking about Hawaii five-o yeah yeah we’re talking about you know relatively
important stuff yeah or at least interesting stuff so the other thing is
there’s there’s like the certain level of expectation and standard there’s a
standard for the legit numbered jaco podcast that I’m not looking to lower
the standard and I’m gonna looking at deviate
from the path with that podcast mmm I feel like I’m being held accountable by
the precedent you know you can’t have John Stryker Meyer on that podcast and
then just say we’re just gonna sit around and talk about whatever right
leave them that doesn’t work I think you’re not gonna have Dakota Meyer on
and then just go there you know we’re gonna do this next podcast about you
know I can’t talk I definitely definitely can’t talk like that so
that’s what this podcast is this podcast is hey there’s things that aren’t quite
as heavy right we’re not talking Rape of Nanking on this podcast hopefully I mean
it could come up but when that’s not the purpose the purpose is to talk about
some other things some other interest in my life in your life and everyone’s life
because we’ve already we the first two you weren’t even here Eko because you
were busy like super busy in Hawaii just being on vacation and a one-month
vacation yes Dave have you ever taken a one-month vacation I’ve actually never
heard of a one-month vacation on a one-month vacation one-month vacation
well how if you were able to adapt to that meant um you know is your mind shot
off no it did not actually stayed in the game well here’s the thing so we’re yeah
I didn’t see it as a vacation necessarily it was a trip it was a
relocation temporarily and you know let’s sort it you know so you you were
there working did some work did some work did some work did some exercise you
know back to back squats apparently Dave one-month vacation yeah is that
something you’re looking forward to is that something you’re you’re negotiating
we in your head with your wife is she talking about the one-month age have you
ever taken a one-month trip no he was in the military years
there you go not on my own I mean I’ve been places for more than a month MMI
time the Marine Corps yeah actually these places for more than
one month of Ramadi have you ever been a quiet at all I’ve been a kawaii have you
been acquired before no well I rest my case because once you go to quiet you’re
gonna understand boom I could be here one month minimum my last sorry oh bring
my eye arguably yeah I think and wait when did you go to quiet when I was a
little kid I was probably don’t understand how long did you say for 34
days well you know next time you go you’re gonna understand and you know
that’s the way I look at it okay so it was like I said not a vacation it was a
trip do you feel recharged now do you feel recharged still the same no
different well I’ve actually explained this to you a few times maybe too good
deal Dave where when I’m here I’m like oh man I can’t wait to go to koi not
necessarily to get away from work or nothing like that that’s why I don’t see
it as a vacation just like to go there in that environment and stuff I grew up
there whatever so just to be there can’t wait can’t wait for the beach you know
all that stuff bring my computer so I can do my work I can’t wait to work
there I’m saying and then when I go there I can’t wait to get back to like
work harder so I can go back to koi seem sane so it’s kind of like maybe a
psychological environmental vacation maybe mm-hmm but one kind of plays off
the other my whole life my work has been what I do for fun
which is kind of crazy oh yeah huh I mean cuz well okay I didn’t do
dishwashing when I was a kid good for fun no I did that for whatever four
dollars and fifty cents an hour right but come here look at Wendy’s for fun no
but as soon as I would join them the military yeah that was for I mean I did
what I did for work is what I would be wanting to do this one anyways yeah not
just the fact that you’re shooting machine guns cuz that’s fun for sure but
not not but not because of you but even coming into work on the
weekends yeah like Oh what am I gonna do this
weekend I’ll tell you I’m gonna do we’re gonna go and we’re gonna go to work
we’re gonna work out we’re to mess with our gear we made our own gear back then
so you’re kind of just into it you probably you probably couldn’t you
probably even allowed to do that in the in the Marine Corps aviation yeah no not
at all but I know what you’re talking about I
only had one job in my entire time in the Marine Corps where I felt like
anything I was doing was a chore what job was that working at the Pentagon oh
yeah yeah oh so you’re saying all your other jobs were the echo when you’re in
the military they called the Pentagon they just call it the building so
someone’s like oh yeah I gotta fly to go to the building as if it’s the most
ominous place yeah or just under two years so I had a job I was the Admirals
aide so it’s the same thing I was the Admirals aide for about 13 months and
interestingly I mean I can’t say that I liked it right sure luckily the Admiral
I worked for was a great guy and he was really teaching me a lot you know he was
he was explaining things to me you know he was saying hey here’s what’s going on
here here’s cuz you don’t know I was a young lieutenant just got back from Iraq
platoon commander done tour and he was you know he was um well he must have
been in for 25 something years at that point and he’s the Admiral in charge of
all the seals and so he was definitely trying to help me understand the big
picture as they say and he was also a just a nice guy and he was also a guy
that would say you know how does this help the seal platoon but he was looking
out for the SEAL Teams he wasn’t looking out for his career or anything like that
he was looking out for the single platoons but I had to wear a uniform
every day which I was not used to because I used to love I used to I used
to for lack of whether I guess I used to brag about the fact that I was a 34 year
old man making 84 thousand dollars a year as a
a lieutenant in the Navy and I didn’t wear a shirt at work like no like a man
we’re just we’re we’re grown men in professional jobs wearing shorts a pair
of boots and no shirt at work that was the deal that was the deal
so I like that now when I was Admirals aide know you were strapping it on at
six o’clock you were done working out you had East Coast you know the the the
Chief of Naval Operations he’s on the East Coast he wants to talk early yeah
so you’re there early be there all day you have to say it until the boss is
done and so your that was that was well how
did you describe it that job was not fun that job was not fun but it was as fun
as it could be because the boss was fun and because he was teaching me a lot and
I was learning a lot there was another there was another Navy captain who
retired while I was there there was a few few senior Navy captains that were
out rate guys taught me a ton great relationships and helped me for the rest
of my career and helped me to this day you know one of the one of the guys who
was the EA to the Admiral he helped tasking a bruiser
above and beyond you know just while we were tasking cruises this is a guy that
when we went asking a bruiser would have some kind of issue down the line like we
wanted to get Mark Lee’s and Ryan jobs and Mikey Mon sores machine guns retired
and put onto the SEAL team three quarterdeck and there was like some
staff person that said well you know those guns those weapons the two of them
aren’t retired yet or they still have rounds or so and we were and we’ll just
give you some other guns that are already used up and that’s not the right
answer yeah this is not the right edge you don’t say oh oh yeah we’re gonna put
Mike monsters gear in here but we’re gonna put some other weapon no one will
know it’s like no you don’t do that and so like this this retired captain who is
the EA who then worked at the command said you know I said hey
bosses what’s going on can you can you help me and he’s like yeah and he would
just frame things up and problems would get solved because they were the right
thing I wasn’t I wasn’t out there asking for like person lookin for the hook-up
ya know it’s like this is the right thing to do for the community
totally and and for our fallen brethren that should be memorialized correctly so
yeah so that was a job that was beneficial
for my education and for my growth but I didn’t exactly like going to work every
day yeah like if that if you didn’t have that job you wouldn’t be you know
calling up the Admiral and be like hey you want to hang out and do admin stuff
or whatever you know I wouldn’t mind hanging out with the oh yeah I see what
you’re saying I mean yeah that’d work whatever your role was I was I would
called the Admiral and say hey you want to go surfing but I wouldn’t call them
and say hey you want to go and put together a PowerPoint if this weekend
because that sounds like fun current ya know yeah but if you go home
now there’s a good chance you’ll be wearing short no shirt yes maybe not
boots in effect yet well well Dave can can we do Skype meetings at national on
front and there’s a decent percentage of time that you know it’s a video
conference there’s no shirt on correct this guy all right cool
so I still brag now I’m even older now I’m 47 years old still trying not to
we’re sure to work however if I do come and speak at your company I will wear a
shirt absolutely yeah yeah good I try to keep a professional on the road yeah
Dave so you’ve been with echelon front probably almost three years man
two and a half my first event with you is in November of 16 so that’ll be three
years in November and you moved out to California I did you’re in my way oh
absolutely this is a good place to be there this place is awesome you’re
getting used to watching the sunsets at night yes I am is there something that
that does to your mentality that’s a positive thing
there is you know what living out here and watching the sunset does it makes
being gone even easier yeah it makes being gone and when I’m on the road and
I’m on the road a lot it makes that even easier than it was because I know that
what I’m missing my family is not missing because they’re there for it and
it’s good to go the Sun setting into the ocean do you
see that on kawaii yes sir you do and and doesn’t have a positive effect does
it allow you to react so crazy what do I see everywhere you look is all ocean
like you’re gonna say no I’m too busy working no grinding at his computer it
yeah like them yeah it’s super unobstructed sunrise sunset wherever you
want to go cuz you know you you figure quite like an island and it’s like a
circle not like an island I meant like a circle it is an island yeah oh yeah so
awesome you go watch the sunrise and then you go watch the sunset whatever
you like you could have a house that was either or which would have been a sunset
I think yeah the only because I don’t you know do the sunrise as often will
say but yes sunset for sure you sunset I I would take the sunset yeah here’s the
weird thing though sunrise but I’d say just the fact that I’m not awake for
that most of the time that’s the main factor cuz Sun when you watch the
sunrise it’s like I think it’s just as like no yeah just it is and I’ll tell
you what’s cool when you watch the sunrise we when you look west had the
ocean and the Sun rises you’re seeing this now day from your house you see
their sunrise the sunrise in the east but you watch the sunrise on the ocean
it’s still it’s even more awesome actually than the sunrise it’s that well
it’s at least as awesome the way you get the colors yeah
it’s it’s pretty lit yeah like a good setup right now so you started national
on front two and a half years ago what yeah well at what point did you start
training the the jiu-jitsu I started training after muster I was almost there
for not quite a full the following summer after I joined is
when I started training on my own so I went to the two first two monsters I
didn’t stay and I didn’t stay for the jujitsu I got home or for whatever
reason and I didn’t do jujitsu until after the third motion is literally the
first time I ever rolled ever trained what was it surprising yeah don’t worry
you less competent and capable than you thought you would be as a human less
competent I didn’t know what was going on and I wasn’t training with a bunch of
black belts either I mean so yeah although I will say I I wasn’t I didn’t
walk in there like supremely confident so I didn’t have these high lofty
expectations how I was gonna do but I remember walking away for the first time
trying to piece together a little shred in my mind of what you had been talking
about and so that was the first experience with that yeah cuz you had
heard us talking about it on broadcast for a year totally you guys talked about
it a lot I had heard stories about it a lot and I heard certainly you talked
about it and I just didn’t have any connection to it and I don’t want to say
that I liked actively avoided it but it was to be pretty honest it was at first
something that I was like that’s not for me I’m not gonna yeah it’s one of those
things where you if you you can perceive it in a way that it’s like well that
doesn’t really connect with me you look I can I can get that yeah I’m trying to
think of it I’ve ever had anything like that
when I would I had had a turnaround in my brain of like oh this is something
that I just don’t that’s not for me into like okay I get this and and I’m about
it mm-hmm you know maybe video editing which I’ve started doing now what do you
had it on there what program he’s my iPad so it’s like iMovie yeah yeah yeah
okay all right good this thing point seeing some made your work coming out of
here I I movie so I I figured some things out pretty quickly yeah I dig how
to do it but he is I just get tired or relying on people that you know go on
long vacations no man you’re the man I’m the person I’m working on my f
no you’re not because you’re using iMovie and there are no effects really
and I don’t don’t get all like crazy dude you’re the one who started look you
listen your job is safe kind of yeah no sorry so the so the so the you looked at
it as something like you know you know that’s cool you know those guys are
doing something that seems you know that’s fine that’s not really my thing
though exactly did the first muster change your mind did that first
experience would you just to say oh you know what this might be my thing or we
like no this is this I need to get into this or at what point did you say no I
know I’m in at what point I don’t think I was really in mentally like in until
it started to so I started training but almost sort of like the mechanical look
to be honest with you the reason I started training after that was sort of
fit in just to kind of assimilate a little bit I always kind of had the
mindset of like look if this is what my bros are doing I’m just gonna do what my
bros are doing because this is a good idea
yeah you know cuz that’s what my gut my bros are doing I’m gonna do the same
thing so I did that that was kind of the only real reason I did it at first was
ends a lot of talk about it everybody else is doing it I’m not gonna be the
guy that’s not doing it and I started to do it because of that that’s what got me
onto the mats but I started training with a coach that was really good this
is out in Virginia and I remember the first time that I actually was able to
do something to somebody else that he taught me to do and I were and the
feeling was the first time I’d had a feeling that reminded me of being an
airplane doing something to somebody in an airplane and how good that felt and
that was the first time I ever made the connection of this reminds me of other
things that I’ve done that I really really like and that was what kind of
that’s the real hook and so up into that point you know that was after the
musters couple was not doing anything then making the connection of the coach
going and starting to train you know that fall or whatever it was and then
still it just being said a very mechanical thing like you guys are doing
do it and then at some point having that experience I’m like and I think I
actually might have called you and and talk to you about I know I talked to JP
but I’m like hey dude this just happened I don’t know I’m not bragging but I just
did this thing that I learned and I did it to another dude on the mat and he
tapped out and not just like I want it was that that feel and ever since then
that’s when the trajectory kind of kind of took off for me in my mind so I’ve
said on this podcast if you someone said like how do I know I just don’t like
jujitsu like when have I had enough and I said I said you you should do jujitsu
until you submit someone with something that you’ve learned I don’t know if I
said this thing you’ve learned yet but I I said because that is when you submit
somebody if that feeling doesn’t compel you to want to do it do it more than
jiu-jitsu isn’t for you sure I personally for me all I needed to do was
get submitted the first time I rolled and got submitted I said okay someone
else knows something that that can they can hold over me and I don’t like that
at all yeah and I’m gonna make do everything in my power to learn as much
as I can that I become good at this scheme and that’s not enough you’ve
always been like this but that’s like a big-picture way of thinking of it which
I don’t think that comes just naturally for everybody because yeah like we could
all sorta figure that out and you know maybe but at the time when you’re in
like a stressful environment and stressful your relative I get it but
when the first time you do jujitsu and you’re rolling in or whatever it’s kind
of kind of stressful then someone submits you usually most of us are like
yeah okay I could just cut submitted by this martial art I knew the martial art
and I lost in a martial art like little training session like what’s what’s
awesome about that directly you know so you’re just left with a feeling well
yeah I got tapped out oh I got tapped out by somebody little you know okay
that’s not a good feeling unless you think big picture in your
like wait I can learn this all I gotta do is learn this and but you’re not
thinking oh let me learn this stuff automatically you’re left with more the
feeling part of it like I just lost but so in a lot of us have we go into
Jitsu with intention we can manage to think big picture which
if we just stick it out for that you know that week or whatever you know
until it starts lit until your come out of the woods but the first time you tap
someone out same mindset you’re just left with that feeling and it’s like oh
my gosh I can’t believe like I actually tapped
another guy out with this like juju I’m a complete white belt by the way and
it’s like it’s so really it’s just a direct demonstration of oh this thing
really works and that happened to me and he wasn’t necessarily the first guy I
tapped out but it was the first time I went to another gym and you didn’t over
Tyrone Glover yeah so he used to be an instructor down at a gym in PB might
have even been City boxing in PB I forget yes he was at City boxing in PB
okay so it wasn’t suitable okay so he was like a man come down and train so
I’m like cool complete white belt total hundred percent white he must’ve just
well I didn’t roll with him okay he was just like come train and whenever just
jump in the drills and it was you know the typical drill old squaw haven’t seen
it for a while where there’s like lines like five lines of people and one guy
out in front of each line okay and then and it’s essentially a king of the hill
city so everyone lines up you you roll with one guy if you get tapped out you
go to the back line if you win you stay up front it was one of those deals I’m
in the line and I go in this guy out front was big he wasn’t like an advanced
guy as a white belt too but so he was up there in the front I get to the front
he’s still rolling then I went and I rolled with him and like I got him mm-hm
and I got that feeling again but it’s a it’s like a rejuvenating feeling it’s
more than like what I was used to at my own gym cuz now I’m with strangers you
know and this stuff still works so like that feeling all his way more way more
compelling that’s why I think that just thinking about it with that initial
primary experience that feeling if you do it and when you tap someone out like
that’s gonna make you stick that’s it that’s a good place to separate yeah if
you actually are gonna like jiu-jitsu or if you are probably not gonna make it
through like you’re probably not gonna become a blue belt a purple belt a brown
belt yeah a black belt I I don’t know that I can even get there mentally to be
like to tap like the first time you ever tap somebody
didn’t be like a still not for me I don’t even remember the first time I tap
somebody out yeah I don’t think I do actually I tap I told you we did you do
to just from doing the tape yeah like watching this so I didn’t like I didn’t
have that that what he called trial-by-fire
kind of scenario like you did just jumping into a real claw like we did it
we were doing it with you know my friends and stuff in Hawaii just
watching the tapes and then doing it and tapping each other out so I guess I
didn’t really get that first tap out experience necessarily I feel like that
one I just said with that Tyrone’s place was my first one that was the big one I
was already addicted to it from the beginning but that was I remember that
feeling and I remember thinking like when people were like oh I don’t like
jujitsu or when you were saying that when you first tap someone out I
remember thinking back from myself on that experience and that feeling did
what about your ego Dave it was that even or you just like totally you were
good with it yeah did you like whatever do to be honest with you man that that
has that is played 0-0 and it’s it’s zero I probably two reasons one is my
time in the Marine Corps that’s actually something I figured out in aviation I
kind of cracked the code on that before my career ended of just just losing
enough and getting beat by guys enough to just never really let it run away
with me yeah like I had an ego but I never and never certainly towards the
latter half of my career I never literally let it run away from me so
kind of learning to keep that in check was something I brought with me and I
wasn’t afraid of of that part of it and to be honest with you losing it’s funny
that says losing doesn’t bother me on the mat when I’m doing it because I feel
like I’m learning so like the learning curve is so steep losing bothers me when
I’m good at something way more than it bothers me when I’m not good at
something and the thing about jiu-jitsu which has been unlike other things it’s
like the learning curve you’re never not learning a whole bunch of things
there’s no certainly for me as juniors I am in this I haven’t reached any there’s
no plateaus or no levels or I’m like okay I should be
at this at all so I don’t have any expectations if I lose to someone who
has who is less experienced than me it bothers me a lot
but not from like an ego you know keep my ego in check that that really to be
honest with you man that has never really been a big factor for me just
because of what has happened in my life enough that that’s just that’s just not
a concern yeah it’s more of what frustrates me yeah that makes sense
from dealing with a lot of God’s a lot of team guys you know you’re you
inherently you have like let’s face it a team guy does not want to lose in a
physical altercation sure that is a big deal that is they have a reputation from
a perceived reputation with other people and they have a reputation of their own
in their own head of what they are capable of and that’s why it was it was
oftentimes very challenging to get team guys to get in the game why because they
have a visualization or a vision of who they are of what they’re capable of and
that thing gets completely freaking shattered yeah when you get caught in
the Triangle of a choke of a hundred and forty two pound woman and you get tapped
out like that’s I’ve seen that happen to seals getting triangled by a female hard
to deal with that yeah and so I think that happens and then you know seals are
maybe a extreme example of that attitude but many many male human beings for sure
have that attitude where they think oh they they have a vision of who they are
what they’re capable of and that vision gets completely and utterly destroyed
and that can happen like in a way maybe on a smaller scale that can happen every
day you know so like you know okay you start as a white belt and I kind of
agree with you I feel I feel like I’m the same way with you like when I was oh
white belt even blue belt life where I understood that everyone’s better than
me pretty much and you have these little hierarchies in the gym you know where
it’s like okay this guy trained with a lot and I always beat them even though
we’re the same belt or whatever so if he beats you all it’ll bother you you know
like just a little bit it’s just you know little hierarchy or whatever but
overall you know oh yeah the purple belt when I’m like a white belt he’s better
than me like that’s how it is so of course he’s gonna tap me out that
doesn’t bother me if he’s smaller than me he’s better than me a jujitsu
whatever but when you make your way up in you’re a purple belt now you have
expectations on yourself or if you’re competing and you’re winning and stuff
like that when you go back to the gym and let’s say I mean it exists it exists
that other people in the gym look at you as a purple belt or a guy with big
muscles or a you know guy who wins tournaments or whatever but I call me if
I beat that guy that’s sort of in a way oh yeah means I’m good yes you’re gonna
target and that exists that’s a real thing you know and if you recognize that
target on your bat back as being an official thing like hey if you basically
if you buy into the mentality you can and it’s easy to do it’s easier to
mentally slip in buy into it where that will influence your thoughts so you’re
like yeah I’m in this big purple belt now you know kind of thing but if I have
a bad day or you know just you know get caught in something from a lower guy or
whatever you’re kind of like man maybe I’m not that good you know maybe I
shouldn’t have a purple belt whatever you start to doubt yourself oh I’ll tell
you right now yeah if I if I have a really bad day I’ll go home and be
thinking about it yeah in this day I mean even today even even at this age in
this time in jiu-jitsu if I have a really bad day it will it will
definitely get into my head a little bit and and there’s not too many things that
get into my head you know and I would say that’s probably happened like two
times in the last year where I’ve been like gone home and been thinking to
myself okay you’re not doing something right
you need to reassess how you’re training you need to start thinking about this
you know like that’s happened a couple times in the last year and Brad that’s
good because it it literally feels like that’s me every single day for like even
if I like do good all like in training whatever that even
means cuz like you know a lot of heaven like the obvious thing to evaluate if
you did good in training is if like you tap people out a lot or if you tap a guy
out that you don’t really tap out or you get the better of a guy who usually gets
about you know like that’s how you how you evaluate it most the time but
there’s so many unseen factors in your training every single day you know that
you just don’t know about and then but no you base it on like oh yeah freaking
chocolate tapped me out like 10 times in a row today and you know usually only
taps me out to or something like that you’re like man I had a bad day or
chocolate didn’t tap me out at all today oh my gosh I had this awesome day or
whatever but every single day there’s some factor that I think is in my mind
that it’s like men I feel like I’ve been training for so long and I should I
should have done better in that particular moment yeah
I always have that and I’m like driving home and then I hear about like Greg
McIntyre saying the same thing I’m like oh wait he’s gonna train longer than me
but you it feels like you just go in like just completely stoic and you’re
just you just go home and you’re just done yeah that that happens most of the
time yeah but occasionally yeah two times a
year something will happen well I’ll just I’ll just feel like man well you
know I need to reevaluate what I’m doing yeah and I need to do a systems check
and then you start stepping up my training it’s so funny because what
you’re saying like the words that you’re saying right now are like describe my
thoughts about post-training like it’s not it’s not everyday you exaggerating
there but well every week I would say or like you don’t wanna die you train with
like Noah for example like they’ll hit little steps of like they’ll get better
real quick just real quick and I think that’s how all of our training is at
some point you just you do a little Jo a little jump yeah and or you stagnate or
you stagnate with it you know that’s that’s the game – for sure um and then
when someone makes that jump on you you’re like you just questioned your
whole jiu-jitsu career it just throws it all upside down yeah but they have to do
that and that’s how you end up improving because they did a jump and now you’re
chasing them and eventually you do jump and you either catch
or surpass them hopefully but yeah I know hopefully Dave something you said
earlier which was an interesting thing and I just got I’d write in another book
in the book I below actually wrote a chapter about this for you you were
talking about how I look all of us were doing jujitsu so you’re like ah I’m
gonna do jujitsu too you know like that’s just what I’m gonna do
I wrote this chapter in my new book and I think the name of the chapter is
conform to influence totally and what I talk about is I talked about when I was
a new guy in the SEAL Teams in like I was like Mr Al Gore and I realized wait
a second I’m actually creating a a gap yeah a chasm between me and the guys in
the platoon I’m sitting there thinking of all or Gore and they’re looking at me
like oh you think you’re cool you think you’re you think you think what you’re
doing is it makes you better than this cool guess what we don’t want to hang
out on with you now the like simple immature attitude would be screw those
guys they’re not as hardcore as I am that’s why why should I try and no
actually what I should try and use build relationships with them and I should do
a good job and actually conform so that I can influence them because if you
don’t if you’re not in the group you cannot influence the group that as the
main crux of it if you’re not in the group you don’t have any influence over
the group for sure at all yeah I think that’s true I mean certainly in any job
it’s that was true for me in the Marine Corps is is I show up and look there’s
something that they’re doing is good anyway there’s a reason you want to be
on this team they’re doing some bunch of things right you want to show up and be
on board that team and figure those things out and if you figure out that
they’re doing things that aren’t exactly right if you recognize in your squadron
or your team that they’re kind of maybe off of slightly in the wrong direction
you want to be able to put them in the right direction you want to be able to
lead an influence do that as an outsider see how that works out yes
yeah and there’s there’s a long term balance there too but when I say a
simulator or get on board that it’s really showing up in like hey I’m here
to be part of this team and if I want to have some long term
success on this team the first thing you got to be is on that team and look I
think nobody with extra on front was like you we’re old jiu-jitsu or you’re
out there wasn’t any of that you know it was just hey that’s what we do and I
started to piece together why we do it look keep in mind man
I mean think of the first people I was on the mat with the very first time I
put on a rash guard and sat on a mat was when I recorded the first podcast with
you and then you left and echo and I rolled on whatever we okay that’s the
first person you rolled with and the first he was teaching me things like
when you fall on the ground try to land on top of the other day yeah okay Roger
let me write that down yeah you know everyone if you fall on
the ground and you’re on the bottom try to roll over and get on top you know it
was if you probably remember that I mean that was the first time I ever had any
sort of direct instruction so my experience in introduction to jujitsu
was echo Charles Jaco willing life babban
there was zero thought in my mind like oh this is gonna be this is gonna be
awesome the show that goes he was so impressed my acumen
is a brand new guy so all that pressure was off there was no you’re just in a
no-pressure sin a zero zero pressure and it also was one of those things too that
I did it because I come not because I wanted to fit in because I wanted to
figure out what you why were you guys doing this yeah I knew why you used to
do it and you’d explain that really clearly and I remember being in a job
where everything I did was towards the end of being good at that job and I
couldn’t make that connection in my head yeah I like training jiu-jitsu it what
is being physically capable of doing that how is that gonna have anything do
with my job which in my mind I made no connection to that but guess what you
kept talking about it over and over again and I’m and that was why I got
into this and that made it so much easier for me to understand why I was
doing it because for me it was trying to figure out why how you see and think the
things that you do and that made it it made it a lot
of fun and don’t get me wrong man I have a I’m a grown man
I don’t I don’t like losing it anything yeah but there’s the the pieces of it
wasn’t I just think I saw it a little bit differently because I was trying to
figure out what it is that you were seeing because to be quite honest man I
heard the words that you were saying you say him a lot
but I didn’t really understand that I didn’t really I couldn’t put myself in
your shoes and see it through those eyes yeah I’m like screw it I’m gonna just
start doing this and so you can see where it goes
yeah that’s what we just talked about on the last podcast recorded about hey when
you’re reading something like that’s it’s one thing to read something it’s
another thing to understand and it’s another thing to actually put yourself
into the mental state total of what that individual is in so I don’t do a good
enough job of articulating what jiu-jitsu is like for me which meant
that you were just looking at it like at this really really shallow level because
I’m just not good at communicating about it and so you’re trying to figure it out
and figure out what the hell I’m talking about and you and you go you know what I
just gotta this guy cannot this guy makes no sense I’m just gonna try it it
was it it was this guy who I’m I’m now working for keeps talking about this
over and over and over again because what he’s saying may actually make sense
what he’s saying I just had no frame of reference for it I was like there’s no
way I can actually take advantage of what you’re saying without it be like me
talking about flying yeah and and trying to get you to understand that part of it
I just had to see it for myself I didn’t have this big vision of this
being a journey I had no vision of influencing my life and my kids that was
never part of the plan it was all these guys are on board with this this guy’s
on board of this I hear it a lot I simply have to see what this what it
means that was it you know what’s interesting is when you explain things
to me about being a fighter pilot I’m whatever I’m 12 degrees separated
from really understanding what you’re talking about when you explain it in
jiu-jitsu terms I’m like all of a sudden I’m only six degrees away I mean I’m not
there but I’m way closer than I would be it’s like it’s like I have English as a
primary language and and but I have a little bit of Spanish and you have
German as a primary language but you have a little bit of Spanish we can’t
speak to each other but in English to German that doesn’t work but but we have
that little secondary language that we can kind of connect on that’s how much
better I understand when you explain to me about being a fighter pilot now we
also have one other comment with common language and we have the common language
of what we have two other common languages we have a lot language of
leadership and we have a language of combat so both of those are there and we
can that’s why I think when we discuss something like I can get pretty close to
explaining something to you from a high level jujitsu because we can talk about
it from a leadership perspective we can talk we can talk about it from a combat
perspective and then I can make some gross really really rudimentary attempt
to explain it from a fighter pilot perspective but when you put all those
together you get a decent translation or shortly then it goes vice-versa
absolutely so that’s that’s a another key element is it gives you another
metaphor for life and for business and for leadership that metaphor is it’s
every bit as accurate as all the other ones though there aren’t like pieces
that are missing and that’s the part that got my head so wrapped around it
was the metaphor is is so you don’t have to have a military experience you don’t
have to be in combat you don’t have to even be in an organizational leadership
position if you have jujitsu the metaphor overlays perfectly on top of
what you know and that’s the beauty of it that’s what’s awesome and that’s why
and I see it all the time on social media I’m a 46 year old asserted you
Jitsu I’m like yes that’s so good to go yes because your life is going to not
your jujitsu life your life is now going to be get bigger you’re gonna see things
in a way you didn’t see him before I have the benefit of
I have the benefits of some leadership and there’s a lot of overlap in our
worlds and this is just one more thing that fits is one more overlay on top of
that but that overlay is soap man it’s all there man I think that’s what I like
about it when we were when we were doing the tactics manual on on the Jocko
podcast man the jujitsu is jumping off the page at you really the jujitsu is
jumping off the page at you and what’s cool about it is you get this you get
this real-world pragmatic factual thing that you feel I mean when you when
someone passes your guard and defeats your defenses you feel when somebody
sets you up and then flanks you you feel it’s not theoretical it’s a factual
thing that you know happened you know that just the way I can I can pin
someone down with fixing fires and then maneuver to their flank and destroy them
just like that’s a real thing that can actually happen but if you haven’t been
there then it’s just a theory well if you do jujitsu it’s not a theory
anymore it’s a factual thing that just happened to you the only reason I didn’t
we did eight hours of that and I was thinking about it the whole time and the
only thing that keeps me from talking about it is just being hypersensitive
the fact that I’m so new at it and I feel like such a novice that I kind of
avoid talking about it because I don’t want to look like I’m talking about
something I think I know better than I do
but when you talk you asked me like how often do you think every single
discussion in there there’s a jujitsu connection to it everything and and I
didn’t say it just because I didn’t want to say it every time but not one example
in all eight of those chapters or wasn’t immediately and I actually am going to
that more than I’m going to other places not because I do that you do know my
connection so is I was training with my kids on Saturday and I was thinking
about that when we were talking earlier today and that this is why I have to I
cannot I cannot not give credit to jujitsu because
the for providing me with a thread that tied everything together it really did I
think if I didn’t do jujitsu I don’t think I would have put together the
connections between combat between leadership and between dealing with
human beings I don’t think I would have I think it took me putting on jujitsu
sunglasses or whatever jujitsu tinted sunglasses where when I looked I saw
that a flank on the battlefield with fixing fires was the same thing as going
for a choke and then arm walking someone and then seeing that that in turn was
from a leadership perspective hey look I’m not gonna bark orders at my
subordinates I’m gonna come in I’m gonna I’m gonna be here present and allow them
to look at me but I’m gonna come in over here from the flank and plant these
ideas in their head and let let them be there’s their I just don’t think I have
the cognitive capacity to make those connections without something as
physical and as real as what jujitsu is and so for me it’s been a it’s been a
huge thing it’s been a huge thing yeah I also think from a security insecurity
slash security perspective when I was a kid which means you know under the age
of 25 I would do things when I was 13 when I was 15 when I was 22 I would do
things to prove myself either to my friends or to myself that I was tough
that I was hard I would do things like that because I was insecure and because
I didn’t know and that’s what I mean by insecure I wasn’t I’m not talking about
I was insecure like I was like oh I’m not sure I’m not sure I’m talking about
I just didn’t know if I had what it took right I just didn’t know that you want
to be tested and so what do you do to prove that well I’m gonna get in the
fight I’m gonna do this dangerous thing I’m gonna do whatever I’m gonna do
whatever stupid I’m gonna drink until i black out that’s what I’m gonna do okay
because that’s gonna prove that I can just go
I’d be I’m not afraid of anything watch this I’m gonna put poison into my body
until I can’t think anymore because that makes sense but that’s what
I’m gonna do to prove and so when I started doing jiu-jitsu all of a sudden
I was like oh no no I actually I I’m proving to myself every day where ice
ice instead of me not knowing where I was all of a sudden I knew where I was
and I knew that I wasn’t the best and I knew that I wasn’t the worst and I knew
if I wanted to get better I knew what I had to do to do it and just like I just
said when I when I realized that there was there was there was steps that I
could take to improve my capability in jiu-jitsu I realized that there were
steps that I could take to improve my capability in tactics and I realized
that there were steps I could take to improve my capability as a leader and
all those that I don’t know that I would have made those connections I don’t know
that I would have realized how much information I can suck out of a first
person account of war if I didn’t do jiu-jitsu I don’t know that I could I
don’t know that I ever would have made that connection because I think that I
am I think that when I read a book at this point in my life I think that I am
squeezing and and and just bludgeoning that document until it has nothing left
in it that’s what I feel like I’m knowing at least that’s what I’m trying
to do I don’t know that I could have done that if I wouldn’t have realized
that hey there is there is a method to get better at everything I learned to
learn from jiu-jitsu yeah that’s what I learned I learned to learn from
jiu-jitsu I was never that good at anything else I wasn’t that good at
sports well I’ll tell you why I wasn’t good at sports you wonder why I wasn’t
good to sports I never practiced I never practiced I showed up it at soccer
season he put my cleats on and played soccer I didn’t drill I wasn’t in the
offseason doing move Ben drills like I didn’t make sense to
me I did I was I play basketball I didn’t I wasn’t practicing foul shots
and jump shots and playing pickup games all all summer long
I wasn’t it did it didn’t occur to me I when basketball season kicked off there
I was so but what you did so I was like oh here’s the level I’m at if I drill
this move I can do it to that guy tomorrow or the next day and then I
realized oh I’m not gonna do it right away and there’s a little mistakes I’m
gonna make and then I bet means I got to drill it more and I got a drill and then
I got to do it live and even when I do it live I’m not gonna be successful
every time so guess what I need to practice it more alive and and as I put
that together that there is a way to improve yourself and then I realize
there’s a way to improve my attack is a way to improve my leaders but there’s a
way to improve the mic my my life yeah it’s a template for life that whole
conversation of thinking about that’s the same way you get better at life and
everything that’s how you get better at life yeah you you you make attempts you
fail you iterate you change you make an adaptations you do it again yeah and you
you have to have the humility to you said I know where I am you have to have
humility to recognize where you are and that you can and actually need to get a
lot better and that that that knowing where you are in life and not being
satisfied with where you are in life I mean that’s that’s that’s the template
and you know what it doesn’t hurt to start life over at 45 as a white belt in
in whatever it is you’re a white belt in for me it was being a white belt in
jujitsu like oh this is actually really good for me to start over at the
beginning you don’t need to be a kid to be the beginning of something and that
template fits everywhere in my life and it doesn’t just make me better at what
it doesn’t just make me better at Jiu Jitsu
it makes me a better parent makes me a better husband I’m certainly a lot
better of a leadership instructor I am a lot better than a lot of things but the
things that I actually value the most being a good parent being a good husband
this makes better at that and just think about that
for a second that training jiu-jitsu makes me a better parent and that was
the connection that I heard people talking about her G but I couldn’t make
the connection so I had to see it myself and what’s allowed me to do is open the
door and walk inside and go oh my god it’s all in here somewhere I got and I
like being in there and that’s why I kind of explained earlier losing doesn’t
bother me the way that when I was a kid when I lost I would get mad and I will
cry and get upset it’s a totally different feeling though it’s being
there doing that is the is the thing that I like the most it’s good to go man
well with that coming up on an hour so that’s awesome good for today
Echo’s at echo Charles on social media Dave’s at David R Burke on social media
at Chaco willing if you need any stuff for your jujitsu you can go to origin
mancom if you need any supplements or food type you can go also get that from
our Jemaine calm and if you want to check out I have a different podcast
that’s called Jocko podcast and you can check that one out too
anything else that go negative Dave negative alright stay grounded
everyone

35 thoughts on “Grounded Podcast #3 w/ Dave Berke and Echo Charles: Do you Like Your Job? BJJ First Impressions

  1. A shit job isn't necessarily a shit job if working with good guys. Conversely an enjoyable task can be shit if your working with wankers.

  2. There you go. As soon as people are in the studio start rolling tape and then cut out the beginning if it isn't any good.

  3. Americans should back you vetetans in a political race.
    …run for state positions and remove all the saftey issues we have in our American state's.
    I'm sure the American people need citizens like you good stewarts.
    Kaua = Battle
    Kaua'I = His Battle. The place he was going to battle.
    Kamehaha didn't war there, he married into the cheifs that were there.
    Lets talk about insurection and spy's.
    Best out come for a spy?
    Prision.
    Worst out come?
    Death.

    One Team

  4. Nice to see the mellow side of Jocko. He seems like he can break balls with the best of them. Poor Echo is constantly being set up for his next jab. Lmao.

  5. Have been listening to your podcast for a few months now. You, your team an guests have me seriously considering the path my life is headed to. Makes me feel I should take that next step to join those who risk it all so our friends an family can continue living in security. Not only that but the more selfish side of learning the skills and building the will to better myself in order to help those around me.

  6. I have always taken a month or two months vacations several times a year especially when going to another country for many years … so whats the big deal??? Just have the house sitter take care of the house and animals.

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